Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

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This book is full of authoritarian garbage, bleating about a long-lost golden age and reads like it was written by entitled conservative boomers. I might be inclined to recommend this chapter alone to parents, particularly those with small children who are trying to understand how kids get along or how preschool fits in or if they are worried about a shy child.

Authors Neufeld and Maté have done a brilliant job of identifying the issue, expressing why we can’t compete with our child’s peers for attachment, and how we got to this point of most of today’s youth being attached to each other than to their families. It's obviously a little older than the stage my kids are at, but I'm glad I read it before I get to that point where your kids are annoyed when you're around and just want to be with their friends, because it also seems like something you should just make your lifestyle.It really has made me think a lot about my own life, my own parenting, and did make me notice a lot of the things that did go right. This book gives great advice on how to keep this from happening to your own kids, or for reversing it if it has already happened. Still, within the context of even the best-intentioned relationship, it’s hard to know how far to retain control without seeming too controlling. Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté is a brilliant book that stopped me in my tracks.

Bet šī grāmata ar savu spēcīgo pamatojumu un ļoti praktiskiem padomiem ir kā glābšanas riņķis - palīdz noturēties arī tad, kad ir grūti. Because peers are immature kids, they don't have the resources to help kids mature; in fact, they often thwart maturity.It’s not about methods or recipes for parenting but a psychological explanation to what we should and probably already have innate in us from the start. It explains so much about peer-dominated culture, why it keeps getting worse, and why kids succumb to it at younger and younger ages.

The main idea of the book (at least in it seemed to me) was that there is something wrong with "kids these days" and their attachment to their peers is to blame. Nav viegli mainīt audzināšanas stilu un metodes, kas nāk no saviem vecākiem, sabiedrības uzskatiem un kādreiz iedomātām idejām.It turns out that there is a right and wrong way for your children to attach to each other, and the first and most important attachment that needs securing is child to parent. By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. We need to make it a habit of collecting our children daily and repeatedly until they are old enough to function as independent beings” (p 179). I will honestly state that I did not agree with large portions of this book and had a hard time finishing it.