Good Inside: The new Sunday Times bestselling gentle parenting guide for fans of Philippa Perry

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As a Christian, I fundamentally disagree with that statement. Scripture teaches in the beginning yes, we were 100% good inside, designed in the image of our creator. But then we made a horrible choice and were deceived into choosing to put our trust in evil things and allow that evil to penetrate our hearts at the deepest level making us actually bent towards things not good.

Good Inside Book Review | Dr. Becky Kennedy - Ruth Nuss Good Inside Book Review | Dr. Becky Kennedy - Ruth Nuss

There are a lot of suggestions that are very vague about the age of kids that they are appropriate for, and I suppose you are meant to just figure that out. Kurcinka, for example, says if your kid doesn’t want to set the table, you do a song-and-dance about it. (Notably, in her example the song-and-dance didn’t help anyway and the kid ran to her room. So not only did the parent have to set the table, they didn’t get to prep the food either because they spent 15 minutes on a futile bonding exercise.) However, Kurcinka doesn't suggest that you follow your child to their room (lest they, God forbid, be "alone in their feelings") or debrief later to analyze their feelings. But maybe parenting shouldn’t revolve around traditional discipline methods and charts. And this Blink is here to prove it.

This book does have some great content. I don’t hate all of it. And there are plenty of other parenting methods (RIE, modern Montessori, Love and Logic) that have super-weird aspects to them, some of which are counterproductive. When you read a parenting book, you are reading someone’s deeply biased opinions, and you need to bring your brain and a shaker of salt. Imagine your child is twenty-five years old. Do you want your child to be able to say, ‘No, that’s not okay with me,’ when someone asks her an inappropriate question? Do you want her to be able to ask for a raise? To be able to tell her partner, ‘I need you to talk to me more respectfully’? If we want our kids to be able to recognize their wants and needs as adults, then we need to start seeing tantrums as an essential part of their development.” Parenting is self-development Here’s how it would go if we did it the traditional way: My child is scared of this new situation. He looks to me, the adult, for guidance on how to handle it. I tell him it’s a birthday party. It’s safe. He will have fun. I validate that new situations are frightening. But feelings don’t always match reality.

Good Inside Summary of Key Ideas and Review - Blinkist Good Inside Summary of Key Ideas and Review - Blinkist

Book Summary: A People’s History of the United States by… A People’s History of the United States is a book written by Howard Zinn, an American historian and political scientist. The book was first published in 1980 and has since… Dzīvesspēka stiprināšana nozīmē attīstīt spēju izturēt grūtības, neatkāpties sarežģītā, izaicinošā dzīves brīdī, atrast pamatu zem kājām un labo pat tad, ja trūkst pierādījumu par to, ka gaidāmi panākumi. Let’s take an aunt’s death. You wonder whether your 4-year-old can understand this, but with this principle in mind, telling the truth might sound like this: “I want to talk about something that we are all going to have big feelings about. Aunt Sally died today. Do you know what that means, die or death? Death is when someone’s body stops working.” …“There are a lot of other details we can talk about, but first, I want to pause. See how you’re doing.” … “You didn’t do anything to cause this. I’m not dying. I’m here. I’m healthy. We are still a family.”Next, you need to accept the fundamental truth that two things can be true at the same time. Even if the two things don’t necessarily get along with each other. For instance, your child wants ice cream for breakfast, and you don’t allow them to have ice cream for breakfast. When you allow both things to be true, you won’t feel the need to completely change your child’s feelings. I have found myself asking this question, or at least trying to remember to ask myself this question, before I respond or react. Asking this question immediately changes our posture from accusatory to one of empathy and listening. Don’t mind me, just over here healing my inner child by reading parenting books. If you’re reading this as a parent, you’ll likely find the topical chapters helpful (e.g., lying, sleep). I want to keep replacing the language of shame and “disrespect” with the language of understanding and self-compassion. We want our kids to want for themselves. As parents, we want our kids to be able to recognize and assert their desires, to be able to hold onto the idea ‘I know what I want, even when people around me tell me no.’ But we cannot encourage subservience and compliance in our kids when they’re young and expect confidence and assertiveness when they’re older. It doesn’t work that way. Nepievēršot uzmanību tam, kas notiek dziļāk, zem virsējā slāņa, mēs nespēsim mainīt spēkus, kas ierosina bērna uzvedību. Tas būtu līdzīgi kā nolikt spaini vietā, kur no griestiem tek ūdens, nevis meklēt cēloni, kāpēc tas tek. Ja pievēršamies galvenokārt uzvedībai, mēs zaudējam iespēju palīdzēt saviem bērniem attīstīt prasmes, kā arī palaižam garām iespēju raudzīties uz saviem bērniem kā uz cilvēkiem, nevis uzvedību kopumā.